As a midwife, I’ve had the privilege of guiding parents and families through the transformative experiences of pregnancy, childbirth, and those precious early days with their new baby. Throughout my career, one thing that has always stood out to me is that the need for ongoing support for new parents extends far beyond the birth of their child. Yet, this need often goes unmet in today’s society.
Despite the clear and growing demand for comprehensive postpartum care, the inadequacy of support remains a persistent issue - one that has been highlighted recently by The Guardian (2024). Unfortunately, constraints such as budget limitations and staffing shortages within our maternity healthcare system continue to hinder the provision of adequate support (RCM 2022), leaving significant gaps that urgently need to be addressed.
The Lost Tradition of Community Support
Historically, the postpartum period was marked by an extended phase of community support, where new mothers were cared for not only by their immediate family but also by the wider community. This collective approach ensured that mothers had the necessary time to bond with their newborns, establish breastfeeding, and allow their bodies to heal. Communities would take over daily household duties - cooking, cleaning, and caring for older children - so that the new mother could focus entirely on recovery and the transition to motherhood (Dennis et al. 2007). In many cultures, this care was further enhanced with specific oils blended to support postpartum recovery; massage to ease physical discomfort, and the preparation of nutrient-rich foods to promote healing and lactation. These practices recognised the postnatal period as a critical time for both physical and emotional healing (Kitzinger 2011).
A Personal Reflection on Community Support
It’s hard to believe that this type of communal support was once commonplace in the Western world - and not so long ago! I vividly remember from my own childhood how, whenever a neighbour had a baby, my mum would prepare food (usually soups and home bakes) and I would be sent to deliver them, regardless of how well we knew the family. This gesture of kindness was the norm, not an exception, with other women in the street also contributing in similar ways. They didn’t just share food; they offered practical help by taking care of older children, providing meals, and babysitting to help the new mother rest and adjust. This natural extension of community support created a nurturing environment that acknowledged and eased the challenges of new parenthood.
The Erosion of Traditional Support Systems
It’s often said that it takes a village to raise a child, but in today's world, that village is increasingly hard to find. Numerous societal changes have led to this breakdown. As people move more frequently, often for work, they live farther away from their extended families, weakening close-knit community ties. Families now tend to consist only of parents and children, without extended relatives living together, reducing the available support for new parents. Additionally, as more and more women enter the workplace, the extension of community help to others during the day has become scarce. Childbirth has also become more medicalised, shifting the emphasis from family and community support to hospitals and healthcare settings. Furthermore, technological advances and the pressures of modern life make it more challenging for neighbours to form close bonds, often replacing time-honoured wisdom with a need to seek professional advice. Together, these changes have diminished traditional support, which we often don’t realise until we find ourselves desperately in need of it.
My Experience with the Shift
Like many of us, I experienced this societal shift firsthand. The difference between the supportive practices I witnessed as a child and what I encountered when I gave birth to my first baby was striking. I was the first among my friends to become pregnant. I longed for connection with others who were walking the same path as me, and I honestly don’t know how I would have managed without the friends I made in a local antenatal class and mum and baby groups. These women became my lifeline, offering not only practical advice but also the emotional support I so desperately needed.
At the time, my partner was a full-time student, and both my mum and then my dad were battling terminal illnesses. I worked evenings while my partner attended university during the day, and we were financially stretched to the limit. The stress was, at times, overwhelming. Yet, the support from my partner and the women I met gave me the strength to navigate those early days of motherhood. They didn’t need to cook or clean for me—their presence alone was an immense source of comfort, something I remain deeply grateful for to this day. Their support made a significant difference to me and my family during that challenging period, probably more than they know.
The Importance of Community Support
The COVID-19 pandemic starkly highlighted the consequences of inadequate social support, particularly for pregnant women. A 2020 study (Lebel et al) found that the absence of peer support during physical distancing led to significantly heightened levels of anxiety and depression among expectant mothers. This stark reality underscores the need for community support systems. In contrast, a review by the Scottish Government (2020) shows that peer support groups can be a powerful antidote to these challenges. These groups not only significantly reduce anxiety and depression, but they also contribute to better physical health outcomes, such as lower blood pressure and improved overall well-being. This clear connection between the detrimental effects of poor support and the positive impact of peer support as a health promotion approach, highlights the vital role these groups play during life’s significant transitions, whether it’s puberty, pregnancy, parenthood, peri/menopause, bereavement and more.
The Science Behind Social Bonds
The findings of these studies resonate deeply with me - they align with both my lived experience and scientific evidence. As humans, we are inherently social beings, and our need for connection is deeply embedded in our biology. Strong social bonds are essential not only for our mental well-being but also for our survival and overall health. Our brains are wired for social interaction, with mechanisms like mirror neurons and the release of oxytocin reinforcing this fundamental need (Uvnäs-Moberg 1998). Remarkably, studies have shown that the health risks associated with social isolation are comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, highlighting that connection isn’t just beneficial - it’s vital for our well-being (Holt-Lunstad et al. 2010).
The Healing Power of Nature
Additionally, exposure to natural environments plays a vital role in enhancing both our physical and mental health. Research shows that spending time in nature can lower blood pressure, reduce stress by decreasing cortisol levels, and boost the immune system by increasing the activity of natural killer cells - key components of our body’s immune defences (Park et al. 2010). Connecting with the wider natural world can also offer meaningful health benefits. Kabat-Zinn (2003) demonstrates that engaging with elements in the natural world by incorporating them into mindfulness practices can significantly reduce stress, enhance emotional regulation, and improve mental health. Therefore, in urban areas where natural spaces can be hard to come by, meditative practices that are aligned with natural elements, such as the moon, can foster a stronger connection to nature and provide a structure to our days which can ground us in our often-busy lives. By attuning ourselves to natural cycles, we can cultivate a profound sense of peace and well-being.
Why I Run Women’s Circles
It is for all these reasons that I run Women’s Circles. I am passionate about creating welcoming spaces where women can come together, connect, draw on each other's wisdom and offer mutual support to each other. It’s my small contribution and attempt re-create a place where women can feel supported once again, where self-care rituals can be practised and stories and wisdom can be shared. Somewhere for women to speak their truth, without judgement, and where practical advice can flow naturally from the collective knowledge and wisdom of all those gathered. And perhaps most importantly, where we can celebrate each other for all that we are and yet to become. Women from all walks of life and across the generations are welcome at my Circles - whether they are mothers or not!
The Significance of the Full Moon
But why the full moon? For me, the moon has always held a special place in my heart. Some of my earliest and most cherished memories are of my dad pointing up at the Full Moon to comfort me when I woke in the night, reassuring me that she would always be there, shining down on me and guiding me. Additionally, women would have traditionally gathered at the full moon, a time in the lunar month that is believed to enhance intuition, connection, and the power of community. These gatherings were spaces where women could connect, share their experiences, offer support, and engage in rituals that aligned with the lunar cycles, and seasons of the year.
To this day, I believe the moon can serve as a powerful anchor, connecting us to the natural world and to all our loved ones who have gazed upon her for generations before us, finding the same sense of peace and wonder. The moon reminds us of the natural rhythms and cycles that govern our lives, offering us a perfect moment to simply pause, reflect, share stories, and bask in the collective wisdom and support of those who gather in circle. She is a timeless presence that invites us to connect deeply with ourselves, each other, and the world around us.
Connecting at The Haven in Stonehaven
I am also deeply privileged to lead a weekly New Mum & Baby Wellbeing Group at The Haven in Stonehaven, a role made possible thanks to Starkeeper Morton, Keeper of The Haven in Stonehaven. Each week, we meet in a welcoming, non-judgemental atmosphere, focusing on different topics each week that promote the health and well-being of both mothers and their babies. These sessions are designed to build confidence and self-efficacy, offering a supportive space where new mothers can connect, share their experiences, and nurture a sense of empowerment.
The Haven: A Hub of Wellness and Support
The Haven in Stonehaven is a truly special place. Founded by Starkeeper, it began as a simple children's yoga class several years ago and has since blossomed into a comprehensive community wellness space in Aberdeenshire, Scotland. Starkeeper’s vision to create a nurturing environment that fosters wellness and resilience within the community has truly flourished. Today, The Haven offers a wide range of services, making it a cornerstone of support in the area and over the years has supported thousands of individuals.
An Invitation to Connect
In addition to leading Full Moon Women’s Circles and the New Mum and Baby Wellbeing Group, I’m excited to announce the launch of my comprehensive Childbirth Education and Hypnobirthing classes at The Haven, starting in November 2024 and continuing throughout 2025. These services will be complemented by the midwifery and holistic support I offer across Aberdeen City, Aberdeenshire and beyond.
I warmly invite you to explore the full range of services that I offer, each thoughtfully crafted to nurture and support expectant parents and their families—both close and extended—through every step of their parenthood and life journey.
Upcoming Events & Offerings
Full Moon Circle Dates for 2024: View Dates Here
Free Introductory Session: 'More Than Hypnobirthing' Childbirth Education Course: Learn More
'More Than Hypnobirthing' Childbirth Education November Course: Enroll Here
New Mum & Baby Wellbeing Group: Email natalie@thehaven.co.uk
Connect with Me
Thank you for taking the time to read to the end. I’d love to hear from you! Please feel free to pop your comments below and let me know what your experiences are and if any of this resonates with you.
And if you have anything you'd like to ask, want to learn more, or are ready to book a session, please feel free to reach out.
Email: andrea@andrealawrie.com
Social Media: Connect on social media (click logos below)
Book a Free Introductory Call: Schedule Here
With much love and warmest wishes,
Andrea
References
Dennis, C. L. (2007). Traditional postpartum practices and rituals: A qualitative systematic review.
Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-based interventions in context: Past, present, and future.
Kitzinger, S. (2011). Rediscovering birth.
Lebel, C., et al. (2020). Elevated depression and anxiety among pregnant individuals during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Park, B. J., et al. (2010). The physiological effects of Shinrin-yoku (taking in the forest atmosphere or forest bathing).
Royal College of Midwives. (2022). Mounting Scottish maternity service staffing shortages spark safety fears, says RCM.
Scottish Government. (2020). Peer support in perinatal mental health: Review of evidence and provision in Scotland.
Sridhar, D. (2024). Why does postnatal care only last a few weeks? New data shows it should be years.
Uvnäs-Moberg, K. (1998). Oxytocin may mediate the benefits of positive social interaction and emotions.
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